Fun Times at Atom Academy
by ZeroSoul
Summary: WARNING: This fanfic contains randomness, sugar, temporary insanity, OC, ninja abuse, Gundams, Americans, paprika, Totoros, pills, drool and oreos. 3 chapters.
1. Atom Academy

_Random talking: Yeah disclaimer and what not. Fuzzy things, in my head, my head hurts oh so fuzzy. Anyway, this was part of a series that went along with some pictures I drew for an Anime Club in order to raise money because we needed the pot…er, anime. Yes. Anime. And not pot. Because you need to be high in order to understand FLCL's ending. No, I'm not soliciting pot use or anything but gods-damnit any Gainax ending you need to be on something, you know what I'm saying? Except me because I'm naturally insane like the people who write those crazy Gainax stories that make me go "Whee" and them my brain implodes from witnessing random things, like this paragraph that was supposed to be FREAKING SENTENCE that turned into a long discussion about fish. No…wait…anyway, I don't own any of these anime. And gods-damnit this isn't supposed to be taken seriously. I don't want a thousand emails or flames about how it doesn't make any sense to put certain characters in certain classes cuz of their age and character history because I have a life (somewhat) and I don't have time to remember all of the details of Naruto's personality I really just don't care that much. So if my characters act OC, deal with it because I'm not Japanese and what if this fanfic makes a lot references to American things when they're Japanese. Whatevah. I do what I want. So kick back, relax, and read the insanity that is follow and I don't own any of these anime or anything here really except the insanity that takes place but I like stale white bread anyway because it goes crunchy-crunchy. _

* * *

**Fun Times at Atom High**

**(Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Writing Stupid and/or Funny Things)**

**(Or "The Anime Club Project") **

**story, insanity, random plotting by Zero**

**episode one: "Atom Academy"**

* * *

**Somewhere in a galaxy far far away that is filled with random anime characters and non-canon things…**

Living at a palace has many upsides – plenty of space, being able to hide an army, having cosplay conventions in your own living room – but there is also a downside and that is the fact that there is always a lot mail to be delivered. When your mother is Queen and your father is King (but no one really cares about him because it's all "God save the Queen" and whatnot) a lot of people complain and that means day in day out of pounds of letters.

So as the servants were shoveling pound after pound of spam mail, junk mail, free credit cards, free banknotes, complaints, rants, threatening letters from the mentally deficient, the Princess stumbled onto a very curious thing. This very curious thing happening to be a square little envelope with some letters printed in very nice golden ink which read: ATOM ACADEMY.

Now she was just so impressed with this lettering (the Princess was a little dim sometimes) that she went back inside the palace, phoned her best friend, and sat inside her luxurious living room waiting for that very friend to arrive and when she eventually did they opened the mysterious envelope together.

"There's a little card inside." said her friend. She read off the card, "'Dear Sir or Madam, you have selected to attend the Atom Academy. Please watch the DVD to see if your interest will be sparked."

"…Hotaru, I can read." replied the Princess.

"Can I read it again?" asked her friend.

"No." decided the Princess, "let's watch the DVD. I'm tied of having tutors come here." She sighed, "I want to experience the real world out there, like Mama and Papa do. To go to high school and have crushes and hate teachers and cheat on pop quizzes and homework but still study so I won't get caught."

(Unknown to the Princess, her parents experienced the real world through a series of boring meetings, charities, meetings, complaints, rallies, and assassination attempts which is why they have to travel in a giant box attached to a truck.)

"I just hope it's not one of those cursed videos that are all the rage these days." said her friend.

"Hotaru, did you take your meds?" said the Princess.

Hotaru had not but decided not to say anything.

The image on the flats screen plasma television was fuzzy at first and then there were several flashing images that neither girls could make out. Then, in the darkness of a screen, came voice.

_Seven days… _

"I knew it!" Hotaru proclaimed.

There was the image of a large brick building. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. And the narrator was very excited which made the girls excited as well:

_Yes, it took us _just_ seven days to decide whether or not you would be eligible for the Atom Academy, _YOUR NAME _and we think it would be a wonderful experience for you! Absolutely wonderful! Let's take a look inside shall we, _YOUR NAME?

The video showed the elegant dining halls, spacious classrooms, fresh facilities.

'_Our classrooms are cleaned twice a daily. We don't want any bacteria in there at all! Even our students are happy.' _

The video showed a student, a girl with red hair playing with her cellphone.

_What do you think of Atom Academy, Mamimi? _

_The girl didn't even look up from her cellphone, "I love it here. I wish I could live here. Can I have my five bucks now?"_

The video then showed a young man bent over what appeared to be a black notebook, frantically writing something.

_What do you think of Atom Academy, Light?_

_The young man immediately closed the notebook and looked at the cameraman, "I don't have a Death Note! I don't know what you're talking about! There's no such thing as Shinigami!" _

_Then the young man ran away. Five seconds later, a young man who looked similar to a raccoon in that he had head eye linear on (or was hung over) chased him._

The video then showed the front of the school again.

_And those are just some of the diverse sort of people you can meet at Atom Academy, _YOUR NAME. _Atom Academy – The Future is Now! _

The video ended and the two girls were left stunned. Absolutely stunned. The shining classrooms. The organized students. The many classes offered.

The cute guys.

"I swear, by all that is pink, fuzzy, and good that I, Usagi Small Lady Serenity, shall attend that school and become the best student there is!" declared the Princess, standing up proudly.

"You just think that guy is cute." her friend, Hotaru, replied which was true.

"Oh, go take your medicine before your alter ego blows up Tokyo again!" huffed the Princess.

**After meds… **

When the Queen first arrived home she had but one question to ask:

"_Why_ is Hotaru drooling on our couch?"

"Mama, Papa, I really want to go to the Atom Academy they sent me this video and it looked all awesome and I really really really wanna go because it looks so cool and I'm tired of staying home all the time and listening to tutors and I wanna be with other teens like me and stuff so can I go if you say yes I'll love you forever and ever and ever if you say no I'm just going to keep on talking even when you're trying to sleep!" the Princess Chibi-Usa managed to say in one breath and then passed out due to her brain needing oxygen.

The King and Queen look at each other.

"I suppose it would be right and just of us to let our daughter experience the world." sighed the Queen, "She will be queen one day."

"And if we don't we'll have to take her to the doctor again and people already think we did something to her because of _bright_ _pink_ _hair_." said the King.

(This was very true because your mother is blonde and your father has black hair, it comes into question how you in fact achieved not only pink hair but red eyes as well.)

So that day the Queen and King signed the papers that would send their daughter off to the Atom Academy, located deep in the suburbs of Tokyo-4.

**Some days later on a train: **

"Oh, Hotaru, aren't you excited about our first day of classes?" asked Chibi-Usa as she sat next to her friend on the train. She was bouncing up and down and looking out the window. Hotaru and her had just gotten their new green and white uniforms.

Tokyo-4 was still under construction due to being destroyed four times so far. She had lived in the palace all her life, in the very center of Tokyo-4, and was thrilled to get away from it all.

Hotaru was busy taking pills out of her various medicine bottles. "I thought I had more pills…" said Hotaru, "Green, red, blue…"

"Hotaru, stop taking your pills out, you always lose them and then I have to help you find them and then there's pills everywhere!" Chibi-Usa said.

"But I thought I had more pills…" Hotaru said.

"Excuse me." said a voice, entering into the car, "Do you mind if I sit in here?"

"No, you can sit here." said Chibi-Usa.

A girl was standing in the doorway, long black hair, wearing the same uniform but with a long dress. She walked holding her head down, staring at the floor, and sat across from Hotaru and Chibi-Usa.

"You've got the same uniform as us." Hotaru said.

The girl looks up from the ground, "Oh…yes…I see…yes we do…" She then returned to looking at the ground.

"What school do you go to? We're heading to the Atom Academy." said Chibi-Usa.

"As you said. I'm going there. Atom Academy." said the girl.

"We're Freshmen." said Chibi-Usa.

There was silence from the girl.

"Are you…freshmen?" said Hotaru.

"Junior." said the girl.

Talking to this girl was like pulling teeth from a rabid beaver but Chibi-Usa was determined to have some sort of conversation with her. "What's your name! My name is Usagi Tsukino, it means 'moon bunny' in Japanese!"

"Tsukiko Sagi. I've been told it means 'moon child'."

And yet again silence. Hotaru, who had grown bored out of her mind with the girl, decided to finally cut to the chase.

"Are you antisocial or just depressed?" asked Hotaru.

"Oh, I guess I'm just a little…scared. I get so scared of things. People. Tests. School. The bunnies that keep trying to tell me to burn things. And now that I'm a Junior people expect even more of me, especially my father. I can never disappoint my father…" sighed Tsukiko. She pulled out a tiny magenta plush animal and hug, "Maromi is my only friend. She makes me happy. Maromi is very good to me. I love you, Maromi."

Awkward silence, but this time it came from Chibi-Usa and Hotaru.

"_Sailor Saturn and I think she's crazy."_ whispered Hotaru.

The train screeched to a halt and the conductor rang the bell.

"_Ames Hill. Togenkyo Avenue. Atom Academy._" said the intercom.

"That's our stop!" said Chibi-Usa, jumping off the seat.

Tsukiko left the booth just as spacey as she had entered. Chibi-Usa and Hotaru grabbed their bags and left the booth.

The train had stopped in front of an iron gate. Boys and girls their age or older in green and white uniforms walked inside of the gates and into the courtyard in front of a red brick building. People stood and talked, some sat on the benches and read, and some flew through the air on broomsticks (or not) or ran to class (probably late).

"Amazing!" Chibi-Usa exclaimed, "There are so many different types of people here, Hotaru! Do you think they're all Japanese?"

"Is it me, or did I just see a dragon?" murmured Hotaru.

"It's you." sighed Chibi-Usa.

"Hello!" said a voice.

The two girls stopped talking and looking around in a panic. There was no one around who was approaching or addressing them.

"Did you hear that?" asked Hotaru.

"Oh no! You're craziness is starting to spread! Get away from me!"

Hotaru wanted to cry, "How can you be so cruel, Chibi-Usa? I thought we were friends..."

"Excuse me! Down here!" said the voice.

"There it goes again…" Chib-Usa murmured. She shivered, "It must be a ghost!"

It wasn't until someone tugged on her skirt that the girls looked down to see a girl with pigtails looking up at hem with a smile on her face.

"Hi!" she said, "My name is Chiyo Mihama but you can call me Chiyo-chan."

Hotaru and Chibi-Usa looked at each other.

"Aren't you a little young to be in high school?" chuckled Hotaru.

"Yes," admitted Chiyo-chan, "but I'm what Heero-sensei calls a 'child prodigy' and I was allowed to come here."

"A child prodigy? You mean you're a genius?" asked Chibi-Usa.

Chiyo-chan shrugged. She then smiled, "I've been sent here by the dean to show some of the freshmen around the campus since there's a lot more freshmen than expected this year! I've been here for a while so I know my way around." She started to walk away. "Follow me, please."

"I guess we don't have a choice." said Chibi-Usa.

"This is where we depart." said Hotaru.

"What are you talking about?" said Chibi-Usa.

"I transferred into the sophomore class since my scores on the placement test was so high. They sent me a letter saying that taking freshmen classes would be waste of time." Hotaru said.

"You mean…we're going to separate classes?" gasped Chibi-Usa.

"Oh, don't cry, Chibi-Usa! We'll always see each other at the dorms, won't we?" said Hotaru with a tiny smile.

This, however, did not dissuade Chibi-Usa from wailing in a fashion that would put a Greek tragedy protagonist to shame.

**After 15 minutes of crying…**

The athletic field was to the right of the courtyard and stretched out far and into some woods. In the middle of the woods was a tall tower with a large clock at its summit. Down in the far corner of the field, a large, round, grey and white, rodent-thing was rolling out a chalk pathway along the dirt baseball area with a canister.

"What's that? A demon?" said Chibi-Usa to Chiyo-chan, who were standing at the very end of the field.

"That's Miminzuku. He's a Totoro." explained Chiyo-chan.

"What's a Totoro?" asked Chibi-Usa.

"I'm not really sure but the teachers say it's some sort of earth spirit. They say Totoro does the best gardening so they hired him." said Chiyo-chan, "Miminzuku is the groundskeeper of the entire academy."

The Totoro happily moved from one task to another. Suddenly, one of the canisters of chalk dust tipped over. And then another and another. Miminzuku turned around in disbelief and then chalk appeared and scatterd all over the field. He made a face and then silently reached over and grabbed something that neither Chibi-Usa nor Chiyo-chan could see.

Then Miminzuku booted the invisible troublemaker off the field with one swift kick. The troublemaker landed a few feet from the girls. They curiously moved towards them. It was a blonde boy with a chalk-covered uniform. He sat up and dusted chalk off of him.

"Stupid rat…" he grumbled. He looked at Chibi-Usa, "What are you looking at, pinky?"

"My hair is a natural and beautiful color!" fussed Chibi-Usa, who had grown tired of people mocking her pink hair over the years.

"Naruto-chan, there you are!" said Chiyo-chan, "I was talking and then I turned around and you were gone."

"You were boring." replied Naruto.

"You shouldn't tease Miminzuku. I heard he has a really bad temper." said Chiyo-chan.

"Yeah, yeah…" muttered Naruto.

Chiyo-chan looked at Chibi-Usa, "Chibi-Usa, this is Naruto. He's a freshmen too!"

Naruto looked at Chibi-Usa, "You're a freshmen, pinky? You look too dumb to get into this place."

"My name isn't pinky!" yelled Chibi-Usa, "And for your information my name is Usagi Tsukino and I'm a princess!"

Naruto blinked.

"Does that mean your parents are cousins and you're an inbred moron?" said Naruto.

This resulted in a pummeling from Chibi-Usa.

"Chibi-Usa, stop! This is not a positive way to start off the year!" said Chiyo-Chan as she attempted to pull the girl off of Naruto.

And so began the saga of Chibi-Usa's days at Atom Academy.


	2. The First Day

_Random talking: Disclaimer dance! Pull down your pants do the disclaimer dance! UMSK UMSK UMSK UMSK. A lot of royalty used to be inbred but they put a stop to that because your mom told them to. No…wait. I probably should shut up right now since you want to read the crackfic I mean fanfic but my fingers won't stop typing. They're possessed. By typing demons. Why do people blast their music so gods-damned early in the morning? Or late at night? Why do they blast it anyway? No one like your stupid rap music, person who is in the room under mine and who shall soon feel my wrath when I find out who they are because I shall give them bloody weasel kick. Is this a run on sentence or just a rambling rambly thing? My thesaurus died. And I don't own the anime because if I did I would be able to finally drink milk without feeling icky. _

* * *

**Fun Times at Atom Academy**

**(Or "Proof That I Have No Life")**

**story, insanity, random plotting by Zero Rose **

**episode two: "The First Day"**

* * *

**It is a time of honor. It is a time of turmoil. It isthe First Day of school at Atom Academy. **

Chibi-Usa had not slept well the first night in the dorm. She missed her family badly, she didn't have a room mate so she was lonely, and someone across the hall had decided that blasting "Crank That" at three o' clock in the morning would be fun. So that morning when she trudged all the way to the auditorium and sat in that cozy, comfy, chair…she fell asleep right away.

Then she felt something poking her. Then she heard a voice, "Nyu….nyu…nyu…nyu…"

Chibi-Usa opens one eye to see a red haired girl with tiny horns sticking out of her poking her intently. A boy with short, black spiky hair nearby grabbed her hand and led her away.

"Nyu, stop bothering her." said the boy, yanking the girl away.

"Nyu!" protested the girl, Nyu apparently.

Forced out of her stupor, Chibi-Usa looked around the auditorium as it slowly began to fill up. There were so many different people. She spotted several cute guys, beautiful girls, intimidating seniors and…a gorilla? She blinked twice and looked even closer to see that there was a gorilla sitting amongst the student.

_I must be more tired than I thought_, she thought.

Then Chibi-Usa saw Naruto sitting an aisle down from her. He stuck out his tongue at her and she did the same.

"Good morning, Chibi-Usa!" said Chiyo-chan, walking down the aisle and sitting next to the older girl.

"Oh, hi Chiyo-chan." said Chibi-Usa, "When did you get here? It's still early."

"My Daddy works here, so I'm always here really early."

"Really? Who's–"

The auditorium was immediately hushed. The lights dimmed. One by one, twenty four adults filed in and sat on chairs placed on the auditorium stage. Lastly, a very small boy wearing a brown suit walked up to the podium in the center of the stage. The podium was taller than he was (and thicker as well), so he had to stand on a chair in back of it.

"Good day." said the small boy.

"Who's that?" whispered Chibi-Usa.

"Dean Tetsuwan Atom," Chiyo-chan whispered, "His great grandfather started the Atom Academy in 1952 and his family has always been dean."

"Why is he…so…._tiny_?" asked Chibi-Usa.

"Everyone in the Atom family suffers from dwarfism. They're all that size." Chiyo-chan said.

"It is nice to see the smiling faces of students awaiting to receive the finest education there is." continued Dean Atom, "I remember my days as a student here, the classes, the friendly peers, the supportive teachers…good times, good times. And speaking of teachers I have some great news - we now have our own nurse! Will everyone please give a warm welcome to Nurse Hyatt, please?"

A woman with purple-black hair stood and bowed as the students clapped. She smiled, feeling welcomed somewhere for the first time in her life, and then coughed blood on the entire first row. The seniors, who were sitting in the front row, all wore an equal look of disgust.

"Uh…well, that's what nurses are for!" chuckled Dean Atom to hide his nervousness.

Nurse Hyatt nodded and then sat down.

Dean Atom continued: "And we also have a new music teacher. Will everyone give Spiegel-san a warm welcome?"

The students clapped but no one stood or approached. A minuet woman with short purple hair and revealing gold clothing stood and whispered something to Dean Atom.

"What? What do you mean 'hung over'? No, I _don't_ understand. This is the first day of school and…" murmured Dean Atom. He turned to the student body, "I'm sorry but Spiegel-san isn't here. Will everyone please give his substitute Valentine-san a warm welcome?"

The student body clapped for the woman, who seemed to not care either way.

"And last but not least we have a new theatre teacher – a veteran at her work. Everyone please welcome Chiyoko-san." said Dean Atom.

An elderly woman in a kimono stood and bowed. Dean Atom left the podium and the woman stood at it with a smile on her face.

"It is an honor to work for such a famous school that does so much to help the children of Tokyo-4." said Chiyoko, "I truly love working with young people. When I was your age I didn't have the opportunities you have now with your iPods and your DVDs and your YouTube and your Internet and your color television and your telephone. I remember coming to see the Atom Academy and all this used to be orange trees! A whole acre of orange trees…"

**Three hours later…**

"…and I said to Atsuko that if you weren't going to give Mima her medicine, at least give her something to make her stop hallucinating but oh Atsuko never listened and that's why Mima stabbed her, although she _had it coming_," said Chiyoko, "and she still won't talk to me. That reminds me of the time Seijiro Inui and I…"

Students had either fallen asleep, snuck out of the auditorium, or were trying to keep themselves preoccupied by now. Chibi-Usa had fallen asleep again and even Chiyo-chan, who had strained to stay awake, fell asleep. Eventually, one of the teachers on stage pulled out a blowgun and shot a dart into Chiyoko's neck. The woman collapsed and two other teachers carried her off stage.

"Thank you, Heero." said Dean Atom.

The student body applauded the heroic action. The teacher nodded.

"I suppose now would be a good time to start the day. Everyone please go to your classes and have a wonderful day." said Dean Atom.

**10:00 AM – Home Economics **

A short, blue haired with long ponytails girl stood at the front of the class. Sitting next to her on her desk was a strange, fuzzy, animal.

"Hello class!" said the girl, "I am Sasami-sensei and I will be your home economics teacher and this is my helper Ryo-OhKi. I hope we're going to have a lot of fun in this class."

"Yo, sensei!" said Naruto.

"Yes?" asked Sasami-sensei.

"You're not a teacher. You're way too young." said Naruto.

"You should show more respect to Sasami-sensei." said Chibi-Usa.

"Shut up, pinky." replied Naruto.

"Well, I'm very good at what I do." admitted Sasami-sensei.

"I have a question." said a blonde boy, "I happen to be a guy. Why do I have to take this course?"

A frying pan collided with his face.

"Home economics is very important!" proclaimed Sasami-sensei, "Everyone has to learn how to cook, clean, and mend on their own! The real world is a cold place and your parents won't be there to do everything for you!" She sighed, "Out there right now, college students waste their lives away eating bowl after bowl of instant ramen and microwave meals simply because they can't cook. It's tragic! That's why you must learn how to cook! Not only for you to get a passing grade but for yourselves! Now, let's get to work!"

The first classroom assignment was to boil noodles. Everyone had been broken up into groups. Unfortunately, Chibi-Usa was grouped together with Naruto.

"This is boring." said Naruto.

"Don't you _ever_ shut up?" grumbled Chibi-Usa.

"But I'm _bored. Bored. BORED._" said Naruto.

The other student in the group was a silent girl with two black buns and wearing a red shirt. As Chibi-Usa and Naruto argued, the girl poured water into a pot, turned on the Bunsen burner and when the water boiled she added noodles.

"Wow, you did it!" Chibi-Usa said, turning away from Naruto for a minute.

The girl smiled.

"Can you even talk? Are you retarded or something?" asked Naruto.

The girl made a face and said something insulting in a foreign language.

"Very good, Pucca!" said Sasami-sensei when she walked by, "I heard your family owned a noodle restaurant back in Korea."

The girl, Pucca, nodded.

"You're from Korea? Wow!" said Chibi-Usa, "I know a Korean girl!"

Pucca nodded.

Sasami-sensei then moved on. She looked at the next group: Ed, Edward, and Chiyo-chan.

"They look icky." commented Ed, by which she meant the noodles.

"Ed's right." said Chiyo-chan. She looked at their Bunsen burner, "Maybe it's broken so it's not boiling right."

"No prob! I can fix it!" said Edward. He pulled out a piece of chalk from his pocket and drew something around the pot.

"What are you doing?" asked Ed.

"I can easily boil the water using alchemy." replied Edward.

Edward clapped his hands and pressed the chalk outline. The outline flashed a blue light and the water began to boil furiously.

"Amazing!" said Chiyo-chan.

"Nothing to it." said Edward with a smile.

Sasami-sensei walked by and looked at the pot.

"You're doing very well." said Sasami-sensei.

Her judgment would change since the pot refused to stop boiling. It simply increased. Vapor filled the room, glasses and windows fogged up.

"Edward, make it stop!" said Sasami-sensei.

"I don't know how!" said Edward.

The bottom of the metal pot began to spark and melt from the intense heat. Smoke rose up to and the sprinklers went off along with the fire alarm.

"_We're all going to die!" _someone yelled.

"No we're not! Everyone stay calm!" said Sasami-sensei.

It was too late. Students ran out of the room as smoke and steam rose and that was how Chibi-Usa's first class was dismissed.


	3. Engrish good for you is

_Random talking: If you thought it couldn't get any more random, you need to pull up your pants and prepare for random things. Oh yeah, disclaimer: if I owned these anime, which I don't, I would make them sing. Most likely something from Avenue Q._

* * *

**Fun Times at Atom Academy**

**(Or "The Super Happy Fun-Time Random Anime Character Variety Show")**

**story, insanity, random plotting by Zero Rose **

**episode three: "Engrish good for you is"**

* * *

**The first day of Atom Academy continues despite a false fire alarm and an outbreak of panic brought on by the collective stupidity of the students. **

**10:45 – Art **

The Arts Building was a little hard to find at first since it was tucked away among the trees next to the athletic field. The building was short and a boring grey cement color (probably because nobody felt like painting it). The good thing for Chibi-Usa was that once she was inside, the class wasn't difficult to find since there were only four rooms – one for the film study class (filled with DVDS, videotapes, and TVs), one for the dancing students (a large studio), one for the theatre students (a large studio but equipped with a small stage), and one for the art students (including easels, paints and other art supplies).

Chibi-Usa went inside and sat at an easel. She looked at the boy next to her.

"Hey, didn't you cause the fire last class?" asked Chibi-Usa.

"It wasn't a _fire_!" replied the boy, Edward, "The pot just started to melt and it accidentally gave off some smoke and the alarm went off."

"So…you caused it." said Chibi-Usa.

Edward sighed, "Yeah, pretty much."

"How did you even _do_ it is my question." asked a boy.

"HE'S A WITCH!" proclaimed a small, strange looking bald student.

"For the last time, Milo, I'm _not_ a _witch_ – _Kiki_ is!" yelled Edward, "I'm an alchemist!"

"You must be a witch! You turned me into a _newt_!" replied the student, Milo.

Chibi-Usa blinked and said, "You're not a newt."

"…Well, I got _better_." replied Milo.

"Don't pay any attention to him, he's one of those crazy transfer students from America." said a boy in front of them.

"Nyu." agreed the girl next to him, Nyu.

"I remember you! You poked me!" said Chibi-Usa to the girl. Nyu tilted her head.

"Nyu." commented Nyu.

"Don't mind, Nyu. She's…special." said the boy. He forced a smile, "I'm Naota Nandaba. My family's been taking care of her and by my family I mean mostly me since everyone else in my family lacks most common sense to take care of anything outside of a goldfish."

"What's with the horns?" asked Edward.

"I wish I knew," replied Naota, "but considering how weird everything else is in my life has been, I'm not surprised."

One of the students sitting next to Nyu, Ed, had begun to poke her and Nyu, in turn, and decided to poke her back so a poke fight was occurring.

The teacher walked into the room. He stood in front of the class and said something that the students didn't exactly understand. When he saw their puzzled looks, he reached into his pocket and pull out a tiny red book with the label ENGLISH-JAPENESE DICTIONARY.

"Everyone, today. I, your art teacher, am the French of Andy." he said, "As for me from the American place there is a distance. You understand?"

Silence went through the room.

The teacher smiled and continued, "As for me it is here where in the Atomic Academy is excited very with the teacher. I desire for me when is, because of you this year it is simultaneous many pleasures in the same way."

Another silence.

"Excuse me," said Naota, "but what the _hell_ did you just say?"

The teacher didn't seem to understand but he pulled out his cellphone, dialed a number, and talked into it. A few minutes later, a student arrived. It was boy who had the exact same face as the teacher. The teacher told him something and the boy nodded. He faced the confused students.

"Hello, my name is Kevin French and your teacher is Andy French, my older brother. He is from America and does not have a mastery of Japanese like I do so you will have to pardon him. I'm sure after staying in Tokyo-4 for a while, he will eventually pick it up." explained the boy to the class, "He hopes that this year will be as fun for you as it will be for him. As for me, I am a transfer student from America and a freshman. Perhaps I will see some of you in class."

Kevin then told Andy-sensei something in English and Andy shook his hand and ushered him out of the room.

"Don't we why try the fact that a certain very simple sketch is pulled?"" said Andy-sensei.

Everyone in the room blinked.

"He wants us to try sketches." said Ed.

"You understand what he just said?" asked Edward.

"Of course. Andy-sensei sounds exactly like the twelve-year-olds leaving messages on Ed's myspace." replied Ed.

The class dragged by painfully, mostly because Chibi-Usa couldn't understand a word the teacher was saying but thanks to Ed, she translated most of what he said.

**11:30 AM – Algebra **

Chib-Usa's stomach was already growling and lunch was still a quarter of an hour away. She had to drag herself to Algebra – one of the most dreaded of all freshmen classes (or at least in her case it was). The classroom was a regular class with desks and a dry erase board. Sitting in the class already were Pucca and a boy she was mooning over.

"Hi, Pucca." said Chibi-Usa, "Who's this?"

Pucca giggled and said something in Korean, to which Chibi-Usa did not understand. The boy grumbled something and moved away. Pucca sighed dreamily, gazing at him.

"She said his name is Garu and he is also from Korea." said a blonde haired girl.

"You speak Korean?" asked Chibi-Usa.

"My brain has a built in translator." said the girl, "I speak over thirty seven different language, including some known to animals." She smiled, "Kenichi made sure I would be well-equipped when he rebuilt me."

"Rebuilt? You're a robot?"

"I prefer the term 'robo-sapien'." replied the girl.

"A robot, huh? Everyday a new surprise here." said a woman who appeared out of nowhere.

"Who are you?" asked a student.

"I'm your teacher," said the woman, who was standing on the desk. She was very short for an adult and had a lot of strawberry red hair, "Washu-sensei."

"Question!" asked a student, "_Where_ did you come from?"

"Oh, I teleported," replied Washu-sensei, "but that's not important."

"_Not_ important? You. Teleported. Into. A. Room." said the student, "That's a little weird the last time I checked. This isn't _Star Trek_ or some mecha anime that has heavy Christian overtones."

Washu-sensei didn't even seem phased. She sat on her desk and smiled at him, "What's your name?"

"Shinji Ikari." replied the student.

"Shinji-chan," said Washu-sensei sweetly, "there are many amazing things at Atom Academy that you are going to experience and that's why you're here, to experience new things. Why just this morning I met my first American, and then immediately hated him. And then I met another American and he was just annoying but that's not the point of this conversation. Now, let's try some quadratic equations!"

"But that doesn't explain–" protested Shinji.

"Shinji, if a train leaves Tokyo-4 at 5 pm and another train leaves 2 pm, how long will it take The Big O to destroy them both?" asked Washu-sensei.

Shinji blinked, "…I don't know but…"

"Then shut up!" replied Washu-sensei.

Defeated, Shinji opened his notebook.

Across the hallway in Calculus with Gendo-sensei, Chiyo-chan was facing her own difficulties. She was also surrounded by Seniors and Juniors. She felt even smaller, sitting at her desk, as everyone dwarfed her. To make things worse, there was this guy sitting in back of her that wouldn't stop staring at her.

"Who's that?" asked a girl, looking at Chiyo-chan.

"It looks like a kid. Maybe it's a midget." replied a boy.

"What would a midget be doing here?" asked another student.

"Are these pigtails or horns?" asked a guy, who reached over and yanked Chiyo-chan's hair.

After she did this, he was immediately electrocuted.

"Everyone, stop acting so barbaric!" said a girl with long green hair and horns, "As seniors, it's our responsibility to set a good example for freshmen and not let people think we're jerks. Or weird."

"Says the horned girl." replied the guy, who was promptly electrocuted by the green haired girl.

"Ignore them." said the girl to Chiyo-chan, "I'm Lum and I welcome you to our class."

"Sorry I'm late." Gendo-sensei said, walking into the room. He went to the board as the students returned to their desk, "We had an emergency – some idiot decided to have a parade, please do not ask for details." He wrote on the board. "Let's just try and solve the first few problems."

A hand shot up in the air.

"Yes?" groaned Gendo-sensei.

"Parade?" asked a girl.

Gendo-sensei gripped the chalk. "I specifically asked that you not ask for _details_." The girl blinked and Gendo-sensei groaned, "A few minuets ago we had a problem at the arts building with a parade. Let's drop it."

"What kind of parade?" asked a guy.

"A parade of frogs and inanimate objects!" said Gendo-sensei, "It's already happened. It's already been taken care of. Let's just get to work!" He pointed at the problem he just scribbled on the board. "Solve these equations!"

The students were still puzzled at the reply but they took out their notebooks and began to work away. Just as Chiyo-chan solved the third problem, music slowly filled the air. At first it was just a low hum but it grew louder until it was blasting.

"…uh…Gendo-sensei…" said Lum. She pointed out the window.

Gendo-sensei walked over to the window.

Outside in the courtyard was a long parade of frogs playing trumpets, walking shrine gates, dancing umbrellas, singing dolls, and other things that shouldn't be moving on their own. Confetti rained down out of nowhere. Amidst the chaos, a short red haired woman was trying to corral the parade.

"I hate my life." grumbled Gendo-sensei. He opened the window and yelled out of it as the students gravitated over to the area to see the sight, "Damn it, Paprika! You said you had it contained!"

The red haired woman looked at him and floated into the air. She shrugged and said, "It's hard to keep a dream under control, old man."

"Well, _do_ something about it! I have a class to teach!" yelled Gendo-sensei.

"I'm trying! Keep your pants on old man!" said the woman. She flew down into the parade.

"Damn girl. I _knew_ it was a bad idea to hire her." grumbled Gendo-sensei. He rubbed his temples – a migraine was coming on, he could feel it.

"What's happening?" asked a girl.

"Looks like the circus came to town," said a guy, "…on _really_ good crack."

"Paprika-sensei's dreams are running wild." sighed Gendo-sensei.

Down in the courtyard, Paprika-sensei changed into a piper. She played sweetly on her flute and led the parade away from the main building and into a black hole nearby. The parade easily followed until all of it was gone. Paprika-sensei then hopped out of the hole just before it closed. She then looked at Gendo-sensei, blew a kiss, changed into a fairy, and flew away.

The students were left silent, unsure about what they had just seen.

"Oh, _forget_ it." groaned Gendo-sensei. He looked at his students, "Class is dismissed." He left the room. "I need a drink."

The students rejoiced and flooded into the hallways.

"That was amazing!" said Chiyo-chan.

"You haven't seen anything yet." said a pink haired girl, "Last year Ranma-sensei exposed himself…er, herself at the sports festival.

"_WHAT?"_ gasped Chiyo-chan.

"Haruko!" said Lum, "Don't tell her that! She's a little kid!"

Haruko attempted to give Chiyo-chan the details of the exposure incident but Lum shocked her before she could.

**12:15 AM – Lunch **

After the grueling math class, Chibi-Usa was starving. Through the entire class she had thought of the great food awaiting her in the cafeteria: cake, chicken, steak. It had gotten to the point where she thought if A was 5 and B was 6 then C was Muffin. She would have continued her thoughts of future food as she moved (or was rather squished) through the hallways.

Suddenly, someone's foot stamped on her head.

"Ha ha! See you at lunch, pinky!" said Naruto as he hopped from head to head through the hallway.

A second late a gun fired and he was wrapped in a thick net.

"Hey! What the hell?" yelled Naruto.

"No running." said a brown haired man.

"I wasn't running!" yelled Naruto, "And do you think your net can contain a ninja? Huh? Do you?"

"Yes." said the brown haired man and he walked away.

"Hey! Wait a minuet! You can't leave me here!" yelled Naruto. He attempted to rip the net but he remained ensnared.

"Who was that?" asked Chibi-Usa.

"Heero-sensei!" said a red haired girl, "He's the scariest teacher. But isn't he hot?" She sighed dreamily. She looked at Chibi-Usa, "You must be freshmen. I'm sophomore."

"A sophomore? Wow." Chibi-Usa said. She looked at the girl – bright red hair, black eyeliner, black nail polish, rising sun stitched onto school jacket. _'Yanki.' _she realized. She forced herself to smile, "Please don't beat me up and take my money."

The red haired yanki laughed. She threw an arm around Chibi-Usa.

"Oh, you're so silly! I won't take your money today." said the red haired yanki. The hallway was starting to empty out so they could walk easily. Chibi-Usa walked along with her, hoping a beating wouldn't follow. "I'm Asuka, of Kamikaze."

"Kamikaze?" asked Chibi-Usa, "What's Kamikaze?"

"_We're_ Kamikaze."

At the end of the stairs they were walking down was a group of yanki girls.

"I'm Ryoko, the leader." said a girl with spiky silver hair. She pointed to each of the girls, "This is Ayeka – second in command and Nana." She folded her arms, "We make up Kamikaze, the toughest yankis on campus."

"What do you want with me?" asked Chibi-Usa.

"I like your style." said Ryoko, fingering Chibi-Usa's pink hair, "I saw how you beat up that kid on the first day and I think you got what it takes."

Chibi-Usa looked at the girls – all yanki, all with (possibly) dyed and strange hair. Hoping to avoid angering the yankis, she walked along with them as they followed the group of people heading to the cafeteria in a separate building.

'_I've been kidnapped...by yanki girls!' _thought Chibi-Usa.


End file.
